Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Time4Learning Disclosure
I've been invited to try Time4Learning for one month in exchange for a candid review. My opinion will be entirely my own, so be sure to come back and read about my experience. Time4Learning can be used as a homeschool curriculum, forafterschool enrichment and for summer skill sharpening. Find out how to write your own curriculum review for Time4Learning.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
I've been to hell and back
Not literally, but pretty darn close. I can tell you that hell is very close to having a raging case of PMDD, being overtired, ready to go home, and dealing with a 9 year old, 4 year old, 3 year old, and 2 year old who all FIGHT, CONSTANTLY!!! Throw in folding the whites and socks and you're totally there. And the super/wonderful/great/fantastic news is that when they aren't fighting...they're tattling, whining, or crying. I sit here and type this as J (my 2 year old) is vying for my attention so that he can tell me "Mommy.........T took my Batman away from me!!!!!"
Seriously. I think my head might explode.
Don't get me wrong. I love my boys. I love my nephews like they ARE my boys. I don't know what I'd do without them. Individually they are each wonderful creations who have their own unique personalities that I love dearly. With that being said, I hate when the 4 of them are together. I'm one step away from a fully-loaded bottle of vodka and a joint when they're all together. (Kidding, kidding. I don't like vodka. Ha ha.)
The awesome news is that I am having a super long sleepover with ALL FOUR BOYS. Yay me. While homeschooling my 9 year old. Was I really this bad in a former life to deserve this? Maybe I was Hilter or something in my previous life. I dont' know. Sigh...all I can say is that I already wish it was next Wednesday, (or at least next payday so I could stock up on some bottles of wine).
I'm going to start sewing tomorrow. I'm going to start with learning how to make 2T, 3T, 5T, and size 10 straight jackets. :D Not the kind that Houdini could get out of. I need heavy duty, hardcore straight jackets and all 12 seasons of Spongebob to entertain these kiddos for the next 5 days. I'm terrified. I'm borderline hysterical. I don't understand how these mom's who have 4+ kids do it.
If nothing else, this is probably just the violent shove into certainty about my "no more kiddos" thought. I need to set an appointment for 6 days from now to have my tubes tied, cauderized, burnt, removed, and sold on the black market. :) I'll definitely go through with it then. Ha ha ha!
Well, I've gotta go for now. Wish me luck and pray for me. I'm going in......
Seriously. I think my head might explode.
Don't get me wrong. I love my boys. I love my nephews like they ARE my boys. I don't know what I'd do without them. Individually they are each wonderful creations who have their own unique personalities that I love dearly. With that being said, I hate when the 4 of them are together. I'm one step away from a fully-loaded bottle of vodka and a joint when they're all together. (Kidding, kidding. I don't like vodka. Ha ha.)
The awesome news is that I am having a super long sleepover with ALL FOUR BOYS. Yay me. While homeschooling my 9 year old. Was I really this bad in a former life to deserve this? Maybe I was Hilter or something in my previous life. I dont' know. Sigh...all I can say is that I already wish it was next Wednesday, (or at least next payday so I could stock up on some bottles of wine).
I'm going to start sewing tomorrow. I'm going to start with learning how to make 2T, 3T, 5T, and size 10 straight jackets. :D Not the kind that Houdini could get out of. I need heavy duty, hardcore straight jackets and all 12 seasons of Spongebob to entertain these kiddos for the next 5 days. I'm terrified. I'm borderline hysterical. I don't understand how these mom's who have 4+ kids do it.
If nothing else, this is probably just the violent shove into certainty about my "no more kiddos" thought. I need to set an appointment for 6 days from now to have my tubes tied, cauderized, burnt, removed, and sold on the black market. :) I'll definitely go through with it then. Ha ha ha!
Well, I've gotta go for now. Wish me luck and pray for me. I'm going in......
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
63 reasons it sucks to be sick
1. Because you feel awful.
2. Because you want everyone else to feel awful.
3. Because you can't speak normal, i.e. I what dome chicken soup for dinner...
4. You can't breathe through your nose.
5. You're tired.
6. Your head hurts.
7. Food tastes funny.
8. Your nose is stuffy.
9. Your nose is runny (which doesn't make sense if it's stuffy).
(Oh yeah, that reminds me of a V-Day card my sister sent me once. Best poem evah! :) "Don't kiss your honey, when your nose is runny. You may think it's funny, but it's snot." ) LMAO!
10. If you're a smoker, you will most likely die from chest pain once the coughing begins.
11. After having 2 babies, I HATE coughing. (C'mon ladies...you know what I'm talking about.)
12. Watery eyes
13. I become this hormonal/emotional wreck. (Even more so than normal!)
14. Drinking doesn't appeal to you unless it's hot whiskey. Yuck! (Why can't hot Ballatore cure colds, or better yet....ice cold Ballatore!)
15. You let your kids destroy your house because you don't have the energy to parent them while resting on the couch.
16. If you have a fever, and you drink milk, you'll throw up cottage cheese. (True story.)
17. You don't sleep well....at all.
18. Your ears are itchy inside.
19. Your throat is scratchy.
***WARNING!!! Do NOT believe your husband when he says a shot of PETERCILLIAN will help your throat. He's LYING!***
20. You STILL have to cook dinner.
21. You go from hot to cold faster than a perimenopausal woman. (No offense to any perimenopausal women out there.)
22. You HAVE to wear your ugliest clothes, because chances are, they're your most comfortable ones.
23. Your house looks like a tissue factory exploded because there are dirty tissues all over the house.
24. Your nose is red enough to lead Santa on Christmas Eve.
25. Your face puffs up and you look like the Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man from the chin up.
26. Feeling like you have Elmers glue and sandpaper in your eyes is a real condition. It really sucks.
27. Chances are you'll get a member of your family sick, and once you're cured, it'll come back and getcha again.
28. You drink a ton of fluids to help yourself feel better, and then pee as often as you did at 9 months pregnant.
29. No doubt, during your episode, you're husband will get a sore throat, and then you'll have to baby his ass while still being sick yourself. (This is grounds for murder in MOST countries.)
30. Your brain is clouded. You don't know up from down, left from right, and you feel dizzy. It's like being stoned, without being cool and getting stoned.
Okay, so maybe it's not 63 reasons, but it's still a lot of reasons. If you have more to include, please feel free to comment below.
L
2. Because you want everyone else to feel awful.
3. Because you can't speak normal, i.e. I what dome chicken soup for dinner...
4. You can't breathe through your nose.
5. You're tired.
6. Your head hurts.
7. Food tastes funny.
8. Your nose is stuffy.
9. Your nose is runny (which doesn't make sense if it's stuffy).
(Oh yeah, that reminds me of a V-Day card my sister sent me once. Best poem evah! :) "Don't kiss your honey, when your nose is runny. You may think it's funny, but it's snot." ) LMAO!
10. If you're a smoker, you will most likely die from chest pain once the coughing begins.
11. After having 2 babies, I HATE coughing. (C'mon ladies...you know what I'm talking about.)
12. Watery eyes
13. I become this hormonal/emotional wreck. (Even more so than normal!)
14. Drinking doesn't appeal to you unless it's hot whiskey. Yuck! (Why can't hot Ballatore cure colds, or better yet....ice cold Ballatore!)
15. You let your kids destroy your house because you don't have the energy to parent them while resting on the couch.
16. If you have a fever, and you drink milk, you'll throw up cottage cheese. (True story.)
17. You don't sleep well....at all.
18. Your ears are itchy inside.
19. Your throat is scratchy.
***WARNING!!! Do NOT believe your husband when he says a shot of PETERCILLIAN will help your throat. He's LYING!***
20. You STILL have to cook dinner.
21. You go from hot to cold faster than a perimenopausal woman. (No offense to any perimenopausal women out there.)
22. You HAVE to wear your ugliest clothes, because chances are, they're your most comfortable ones.
23. Your house looks like a tissue factory exploded because there are dirty tissues all over the house.
24. Your nose is red enough to lead Santa on Christmas Eve.
25. Your face puffs up and you look like the Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man from the chin up.
26. Feeling like you have Elmers glue and sandpaper in your eyes is a real condition. It really sucks.
27. Chances are you'll get a member of your family sick, and once you're cured, it'll come back and getcha again.
28. You drink a ton of fluids to help yourself feel better, and then pee as often as you did at 9 months pregnant.
29. No doubt, during your episode, you're husband will get a sore throat, and then you'll have to baby his ass while still being sick yourself. (This is grounds for murder in MOST countries.)
30. Your brain is clouded. You don't know up from down, left from right, and you feel dizzy. It's like being stoned, without being cool and getting stoned.
Okay, so maybe it's not 63 reasons, but it's still a lot of reasons. If you have more to include, please feel free to comment below.
L
I am so sad...
I've been a smoker for 16 years. I'm not just addicted to smoking, I actually LOVE it. Seriously. If smoking were a person, I would leave my husband for it. I don't know why I feel like this about it, but I do. After 16 years though, I've had to end my love affair.
You see, I am having surgery. Surgeons are funny about smoking. Something to do with breathing well and anesthesia. I don't know. I wasn't really listening when I spoke to the anesthesiologist because I was dreaming of my next encounter with Marlboro Smooth 100's. All I heard was, "You have to quit prior to surgery".
So now I'm depressed. After all these years, I'm single again. MS 100's and I shall never be, cause after all the torture I've been through, I can't stand another heartbreak. We've parted ways, much like Jack and Rose from Titanic. I will only see my love in my dreams as an old woman. I want to yell, "MS come back, come BACK!" in a really raspy voice, but I think it may be overly dramatic.
Now I have to learn to live my life as a single person. I will miss our long walks together, quietly having coffee together, all those late nights with drinks, traveling with me across country, and how he greeted me each morning with a smile.
I will miss you always, Marlboro Smooth 100's.
Love,
Lisa
You see, I am having surgery. Surgeons are funny about smoking. Something to do with breathing well and anesthesia. I don't know. I wasn't really listening when I spoke to the anesthesiologist because I was dreaming of my next encounter with Marlboro Smooth 100's. All I heard was, "You have to quit prior to surgery".
So now I'm depressed. After all these years, I'm single again. MS 100's and I shall never be, cause after all the torture I've been through, I can't stand another heartbreak. We've parted ways, much like Jack and Rose from Titanic. I will only see my love in my dreams as an old woman. I want to yell, "MS come back, come BACK!" in a really raspy voice, but I think it may be overly dramatic.
Now I have to learn to live my life as a single person. I will miss our long walks together, quietly having coffee together, all those late nights with drinks, traveling with me across country, and how he greeted me each morning with a smile.
I will miss you always, Marlboro Smooth 100's.
Love,
Lisa
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Flying high to Hawaii
So in 2007, my husband was told we were moving to Hawaii. I was terrified to fly, as I had not flown since 2001. (Not related to the 9/11 attacks, merely coincidence.) I was so excited about moving to Hawaii, but scared to death about the flight.
I am open to holistic alternatives to medicines. For instance, I don't routinely use lavender to calm myself down, but rather a large bottle of Ballatore Sparkling Wine (I HIGHLY recommend if you haven't tried it). :) However, I'm not close minded about them either.
As our leave date approached and my anxiety about the impending flight increased, I sought the assistance of a hypnotherapist. Needless to say, it didn't help anything, except for my wallet to be lighter, as it was a $125 waste of time.
There I am a week away from leaving Georgia and flying 9 hours to Hawaii. I'm hysterical. I've purchased a ticket for my mom to travel with us, so that I can drink myself into a coma, and her and B can watch my son A (who was only 5 at the time).
Mom suggested that I go to the doctor and ask for an anti-anxiety medication like Xanax. Now...I am not a pill-popper by any means, so I was hesitant to take this route, but I was desperate.
The doctor offered me a 1 mg prescription of Xanax (which I thought was ridiculously low), and told me to try one pill prior to the flight to calm my fears about the flying. My boss at the time, advised me to drink a glass of wine with it, "just to intensify the effect". My sister came over and I took the pill and drank two glasses of wine. Nothing. Seriously, I would have felt more of an effect with a Tylenol PM. :)
Hysterical, I went BACK to the doctor, unsure of what to do. The doctor increased the prescription to 2mg of Xanax. Thinking he was an idiot for basically doubling my dose, I was not hopeful.
As he had previously stated, the doctor told me to take one night before we left, so that I could see for myself the calming effect that Xanax has. Again, I went home with B and took the 2 mg Xanax and drank 2 Coronas with it.
OMG. No joke. I remember nothing. NOTHING. LOL! I was super excited after that point, because I knew I would sleep through the entire flight. Ha ha ha.
Moving day arrives, and Mom, B, A, and I are at the Atlanta airport awaiting our flight. As boarding time approaches, I start having a panic attack. Mind you, this is at 9 AM! :)
Mom advises me to go ahead and take my Xanax and then we walk down to a concession store to purchase two Coronas.
(FYI: My mom would, under MOST circumstances....NEVER EVER advise me to drink at 9 AM, and especially while taking Xanax! In her mind, whatever it took to get me on the plane was fine. Lol!)
The Xanax (and Corona) kicked in really fast, and all of the sudden I was higher than the 737 we were in later that day. I don't remember getting on the plane in Atlanta. I don't remember getting off the plane in Hawaii. I don't remember waking up during turbulence over the Pacific Ocean and yelling "Wheeeeeeee!" really loud. I don't remember purchasing Heineken by the two's. LOL
Lastly, I don't remember getting Starbucks after we landed, going to smoke, calling my mother-in-law, or RENTING A VAN!!! (B caught me renting the van and refused to let me drive...THANK GOD!)
Moral of the story: 6 mg of Xanax and 8 beers in less than 24 hours is probably overkill. BUT...I managed to get to Hawaii, and I've been fine flying ever since. I don't need anti-anxiety meds anymore. :D
I am open to holistic alternatives to medicines. For instance, I don't routinely use lavender to calm myself down, but rather a large bottle of Ballatore Sparkling Wine (I HIGHLY recommend if you haven't tried it). :) However, I'm not close minded about them either.
As our leave date approached and my anxiety about the impending flight increased, I sought the assistance of a hypnotherapist. Needless to say, it didn't help anything, except for my wallet to be lighter, as it was a $125 waste of time.
There I am a week away from leaving Georgia and flying 9 hours to Hawaii. I'm hysterical. I've purchased a ticket for my mom to travel with us, so that I can drink myself into a coma, and her and B can watch my son A (who was only 5 at the time).
Mom suggested that I go to the doctor and ask for an anti-anxiety medication like Xanax. Now...I am not a pill-popper by any means, so I was hesitant to take this route, but I was desperate.
The doctor offered me a 1 mg prescription of Xanax (which I thought was ridiculously low), and told me to try one pill prior to the flight to calm my fears about the flying. My boss at the time, advised me to drink a glass of wine with it, "just to intensify the effect". My sister came over and I took the pill and drank two glasses of wine. Nothing. Seriously, I would have felt more of an effect with a Tylenol PM. :)
Hysterical, I went BACK to the doctor, unsure of what to do. The doctor increased the prescription to 2mg of Xanax. Thinking he was an idiot for basically doubling my dose, I was not hopeful.
As he had previously stated, the doctor told me to take one night before we left, so that I could see for myself the calming effect that Xanax has. Again, I went home with B and took the 2 mg Xanax and drank 2 Coronas with it.
OMG. No joke. I remember nothing. NOTHING. LOL! I was super excited after that point, because I knew I would sleep through the entire flight. Ha ha ha.
Moving day arrives, and Mom, B, A, and I are at the Atlanta airport awaiting our flight. As boarding time approaches, I start having a panic attack. Mind you, this is at 9 AM! :)
Mom advises me to go ahead and take my Xanax and then we walk down to a concession store to purchase two Coronas.
(FYI: My mom would, under MOST circumstances....NEVER EVER advise me to drink at 9 AM, and especially while taking Xanax! In her mind, whatever it took to get me on the plane was fine. Lol!)
The Xanax (and Corona) kicked in really fast, and all of the sudden I was higher than the 737 we were in later that day. I don't remember getting on the plane in Atlanta. I don't remember getting off the plane in Hawaii. I don't remember waking up during turbulence over the Pacific Ocean and yelling "Wheeeeeeee!" really loud. I don't remember purchasing Heineken by the two's. LOL
Lastly, I don't remember getting Starbucks after we landed, going to smoke, calling my mother-in-law, or RENTING A VAN!!! (B caught me renting the van and refused to let me drive...THANK GOD!)
Moral of the story: 6 mg of Xanax and 8 beers in less than 24 hours is probably overkill. BUT...I managed to get to Hawaii, and I've been fine flying ever since. I don't need anti-anxiety meds anymore. :D
The REAL problem with evening...
I am pulling my hair out. No. Seriously. I am yanking my hair out in bunches. I despise this time of day. I loathe it.
B should be home from work already. But, with the Army...there's no rhyme or reason to when they come or go. Some days he's home by 1:30 p.m., and other days, he's out until the boys go to bed. God...if only women ran the world...I swear it would run so much smoother.
The time period between 3:00 p.m. and 8:00 p.m. (aka, bedtime in our house) is awful. My kids are running around like they've just drank a pot of coffee each, I'm exhausted, dinner has to be made, thus dinner dishes need washed, then it is cleanup time, bathtime, and finally....wait for it...bedtime. Ahhhh. :)
I don't know how moms who work outside the home do it. I couldn't. I can barely handle it as a SAHM (see previous blog for definition). Sigh. I'm worn out. All I want to do it go crawl into bed by myself, (cause there's no doubt B will be on his (*)#($)#(@*$_ computer playing Call of Duty: Black Ops), and watch some mindless crap on TV that will probably rot my brain further.
I wish I had a robot like "Rosie" from The Jetsons. That would be awesome.
Well...it's time to go start dinner now. Let the games begin.
B should be home from work already. But, with the Army...there's no rhyme or reason to when they come or go. Some days he's home by 1:30 p.m., and other days, he's out until the boys go to bed. God...if only women ran the world...I swear it would run so much smoother.
The time period between 3:00 p.m. and 8:00 p.m. (aka, bedtime in our house) is awful. My kids are running around like they've just drank a pot of coffee each, I'm exhausted, dinner has to be made, thus dinner dishes need washed, then it is cleanup time, bathtime, and finally....wait for it...bedtime. Ahhhh. :)
I don't know how moms who work outside the home do it. I couldn't. I can barely handle it as a SAHM (see previous blog for definition). Sigh. I'm worn out. All I want to do it go crawl into bed by myself, (cause there's no doubt B will be on his (*)#($)#(@*$_ computer playing Call of Duty: Black Ops), and watch some mindless crap on TV that will probably rot my brain further.
I wish I had a robot like "Rosie" from The Jetsons. That would be awesome.
Well...it's time to go start dinner now. Let the games begin.
So I am taking my first step into the blogging world. I've never done this before, but I've been told time and time again by my step-dad, that I was born to blog. After conversing with him for what seemed to be an eternity (think Mike Brady type lecture), I've decided to give it a try. (Love you PePaw!)
I am a 31 year old SAHM. For those of you who aren't hip like me, that's code for "stay-at-home-mom". I prefer to call myself a SAHM instead of a housewife or homemaker because that insinuates that I'm going to do housework. Yeah...as if I have time for that. :)
I am married to B. We have been married for nearly 5 years (only 45 to go until it's D-Day, lol!) B is a mechanic for the US Army. I'm one of those BAD wives that pushed him to join so that we could have some stability, and so far, it's been a pretty good life for us.
B and I have 2 little boys, A is 9 years old, and J is 2. They keep me pretty busy (which I try to avoid), but we have a lot of fun together.
I've been told that I'm more than a little onery, obnoxious, and hardheaded. I don't care. I am who I am, and God made me this way for a reason. The doctors won't give me anymore Prozac to deal with my PMDD, which is pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder, (think PMS on steroids), so I've decided I will blog my frustrations out. Ha ha ha.
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